Memoirs »
PICKLE JUICE – Chapter 8
Chapter 12345678910

“Reap barley with sickle that lies in ill pickle.”
–Thomas Tusser, 1573

A five year old girl asked me, “How many children do you have?” Recalling that late night confrontation in early 2008, “I don’t know, I lamented at the time.” “That many children?!” Everyone laughed except me. It would be nice to know.

I had a dog but didn’t know how to care for it, so I left her to her human mother.

I was at a wedding, minding my own business, and getting drunk. A girl came over to my table, grabbed my arm, and forced me to dance with her. Right away, the music turned to a slow dance and so we slow danced. I thought, if I was at church, we would slow dance with one hand out. She went right in to hips and shoulders. Oh no, I thought. I hope this doesn’t turn out bad. She said some things that I liked to hear and I began to become aroused. I mentioned my beard and she said something about liking beards and I became fully engorged, completely out of my control. I couldn’t even hide it cause I wasn’t wearing underwear. I pulled her closer, although nobody said a word about it. I don’t even know her name or anything about her. After the dance, I went back to my table embarrassed and she walked straight away. I thought, maybe she had liked meeting me and decided to go and say hi, but she was totally dismissive, so I left the party.

In jail he discovered levels of capabilities, from full volume chatting in the ear, to whispering, to forcing thoughts, to forcing speech. Recalling that time on the soccer field, whether or not it was right to force him to say things that made that woman uncomfortable is a matter of debate. He was an accused sexual predator, even if that accusation was under someone’s breath. Is it not justice to make a suspect of sexual assault feel out of control?

I dated a girl and she would buy everything, including the booze. She would ask, “are you ready?” whenever we were partying before she wanted another round of sex. It felt out of place for her to continually ask am I drunk enough to sleep with her. There’s a point where you say no to sex: People trying to sleep; people making incoherent sentences. Other than that, willing participants should be able to get as drunk as they want without having to worry about offending. Most people are too shy to get down with new people without self-induced inebriation, and that is a very healthy way to explore sexual compatibility.

Other levels of control include the erectile function, from withdrawn like a turtle, to extended, to erect, to dripping including during sleep, to full release (or none at all), including during sleep. Sometimes the dreams were quite pleasant; but at the time in jail, he did not want his DNA to be exposed to the laundry room or to donate his sperm for pregnancies. It seemed that was all they wanted of him, and he felt he would be killed as soon as they got it. Justin laid out specific personal limits for both heads, and he could identify the different alien’s personalities by how they treated those limits. His cheese or breakfast eggs would rip into those patterns when determining which alien microorganism he would eat and thereby accept into his pants.

Smell is similar in many ways. One girl I dated with years of no girlfriend before and after; so when I went down on her, I immediately commented on how great she tasted. The next time we were together, she made a comment out of the blue, as if talking to someone not in the room, “I wonder if they even notice.” When I went down on her, I noticed right away that I could barely proceed without throwing up from the bitterness of the taste; and soon lost interest in her needs. I have encountered many scent salespersons, offering ways to attract and soothe potential mates. I was at a girls house who I wasn’t dating, and when I went to the bathroom, there were a pair of panties on the floor. I immediately became aroused and inhaled the splendor, wrapping them around my manhood and stroking; then finishing in the toilet. I didn’t share with her my adolescent arousal out of fear and uncertainty.

One girl was outside a store selling colognes and approached me. Grateful for the communication, I listened to the presentation. At the end, I caught a whiff of her own body, and said, “I like your smell–” realizing right away that I may have made her uncomfortable. When I left the store, she was safe in her car and I scurried away in shame.

I made dinner for a family. They didn’t like it, so I packaged it up and gave it to a pregnant family. I said the spicy food would be good for initiating the birthing process. I knew right away I had made the nicest people uncomfortable and never cooked for them again.

To try and disassociate the good and the bad actors, Justin spent lots of time testing the visitors for character. He would think up questions, and based on the response to his body, he would gain insight about their studiousness, quickness, respect, accuracy, wisdom, and devotion, making them check multiple times before acceptance. Teams would muscle their way abiding by the impossible rules, and trained Justin pertaining the intricacies of verbal and non-verbal communication. Each would have a signature, various ways to touch or tickle the body from afar, specific smells manufactured in the air he breathed. Different main influences would tie themselves to numbers. The bad influences would go so far as to piggyback and impersonate signatures to gain access.

After a long period of dealing with the groups, they asked Justin what number he would want. One? they asked. No, it was too dirty. He chose two first. Some chose to allow him after the testing, saying “all in,” offering to follow him based on long strings of numbers and which place his were, indicating position of power amongst themselves. Others were specified but without number, for various places in digestion, balance, and communication. Locations of interest are illustrated at reference. Justin could witness the battles for control between this rogue group and the defense industry, where the rogues eventually assumed power anyway. The cackling in her voice pierced his will to survive. After 20 months, she tricked him with something very close to someone else’s signature, and violated his multiple checks to quickly insert herself into his life.

Justin enjoys the idea of lent, and gave up sex with himself that year as a short sacrifice. Not something of notoriety, because he also did it as an experiment to see how much sperm would build up for more intense orgasms. One night a week before Easter, this vampire reached in and made him ejaculate in his sleep, quite unromantically, and without consent. He immediately awoke and rejected them. He heard their voice on the television; this person never apologized–even laughing it off and suggesting it was no big deal and a liberty–only breaking down and crying when they felt the loss of power and custody of glory. 1930’s dance routines on television confirmed their feelings of contempt towards him as they were broadcast 80 years later, brushing off a recent apology from a previous channel change and trying to re-own everybody.


The presentation of printed pence paper purposely presumes a paramount application of pretend importance promoted plus pittance–picked primarily and pushed on people by players who promote profit. Praytell what price is its appeal there-put helped?

He bragged once about being able to handle liquor, and immediately began gagging at every sip, causing slowly deadly inflammation, even forcing Justin to throw up after eating or drinking even water as if an invisible force reached into his mouth and stuck a finger down his throat–a punishment for exercising the constitutionally guaranteed 21st amendment, being in public, or even thinking of going outside, waking up, lying down, and eating according to the declaration of independence right to life by surviving as long as he did.

Promises only help the person offering them.

I have selfishly hit on and displayed a pattern of testing the waters with significant others of those closest to me and acquaintances alike, sometimes resulting in relationships; including sexual affairs with a number of unhappily married women. One married woman would come over to my house for sex every couple months. I prefer them available, but have had better luck with those already in relationships with someone else. One time, I hooked up with one of those. She cautioned, “Your [fraternity] brother.” I responded that I didn’t know him anyway. Afterwards, I didn’t see her or her boyfriend around. It was like he left town.

Another brother was ignoring his girlfriend at the bar, turning away from her when she was trying to talk to him. She and I saw it and decided to pay attention to each other. Afterwards she said I felt like forbidden fruit, but that wasn’t my attraction.

I slept at a friend’s house one night and his wife and I were the only people in the house the next morning. She stood by her bedroom door wearing a t-shirt and panties, and as I was leaving, I turned and kissed her. We moved to her bed and I reached under her shirt. My mouth wet her nipple but she didn’t participate with her own hands.

There were others. One married chick and her husband had a party, and I was sexually attracted to her. Another’s 17 year old daughter was hard to resist hitting on. I actually had crushes on love interest’s sisters, hoping to be alone with them, just like hide and seek from childhood.

I’ve also avoided committing in relationships in order to date multiple people–even in the same night–as I searched for greener pastures; going so far as to actively search online and even my date’s friends at the same party, just staring in awe at them. I’m aware this doesn’t sit well with any decent society; but I also see jealousy as a personal failure, and a failure of true companionship; and noncommittal vets that out. I’m aware that this is a fault by dishonoring the very people I search out; but also I think people should be with who they want, and not feel stuck.

An acquaintance invited him upstairs at his house to see his infant baby sister. When the friend suggested looking at her privates, Justin was suspicious and curious. Who can blame them? Sex Ed wasn’t even brought up that early in school. Children wonder what’s different pretty much right away. The visitor touched the bald pubic hair region for 1 second with her brother watching, having no desire to continue to participate; and they went back downstairs.

Many children have sat on my foot, and I would do hip flexor exercises lifting them up in to the air. One kid kept shifting from his pelvic bone to between his pelvic bone where it was less painful. I eventually allowed it. It could be interpreted as child molestation.

Since 2008, children on the streets or those he cared about either gravitate towards his privates and he’s on guard to block them, or they bend over and expose themselves as he walks by; or little children would say murderous phrases in Justin’s presence.

Looking back, Justin himself showed sexual intentions right out of the womb towards others, with crushes on his much older babysitters. The actions of a child are sacrosanct, but someone was deliberately overtaking their bodies to make a point. Conversely, random toddlers and those he most cared, would also run and scream whenever he was nearby. This shows how children were used to inflict punishments on recipient’s, namely Justin’s, past mistakes.

The trouble is that in the wrong hands, it could create monsters instead of saints. Without knowledge of its happening, without cause, and without reimbursement at all ages; this constitutes slavery, not a tool for social justice. People should be paid reasonably in a timely fashion if they are seized for purposes of social justice on a perpetrator; and they should know it’s happening. The overseeing body should be sustained by vote and have a public mission statement regarding prey, and infliction of social justice should have some semblance of proportionality to the infraction.

These things happen whether we like it or not; so ignoring it won’t help and in jail he would organize wherever he could and remember as much as he could, with disastrous results. That is why it was so important to describe the phenomenon and organize those powers after he left being held behind bars with no tools, and where he had plenty of time to ponder permutations that might work copasetically (here). The question isn’t if; it’s who, and how. It is a vile and depraved thought to let the free market decide.

“Now remember, the stripper doesn’t actually like you.”
— M.H.

There were other visitors, whose job it was to give Justin tedious instruction on enlightenment, who gave him space when he wasn’t comfortable, most notably communicating on the same level, actually sticking their necks out with a genuine interest in helping him define the capabilities. Like many others, they never showed their face–. Just as the media filled with paternity tests giving clues both ways, his indecisiveness was met with mixed signals about the hearts of those he liked to watch and listen to on television. Honest tests of heightened sexual tension, or a game of pretend; celebrities need to observe fortitude and balance while they weed out the overzealous; an important reminder in handling undeveloped coping mechanisms that are challenged by beauty and intrigue.

Another visitor wasn’t much of an artist, but a unique and soothing one. He protected Justin’s lowest digestive sphincter and gave him direction and enlightenment when his eyes were shut, battling in harms way with patience and stamina. Artist? Yes, aliens went before him in many of those prison cells, drawing artwork on the walls, delicately arranged spills mid-air, and even eroded the concrete years in the making to illustrate their struggles with what can only be described as immigration to earth. Justin would pause to understand their views, and then allow himself to be moved in a delicacy to share their minds with the world. Their willingness to let him decide if he would accept those fine movements is what made all his life understandable; but who’s to say that it’s not justice to smother a criminal with their alleged weaknesses? And who’s to say that an intervention can’t be made to prevent a car crash? Advice didn’t always seem in the prisoner’s best interest, but they all had purpose.

I noticed a high birthrate as people became adults. I decided to understand why, putting together a list of about five reasons: Somebody to love them, to keep a man involved, extra food stamps, by accident, or a military family protecting their lineage during wartime. Other reasons include: Carrying on a bloodline or bonding with your lover by making something unique with them. Propagating the species is human Nature; but what have we done by bringing people into a world where they are borne into slavery, with reckless disregard for diminishing margin utility? Children are the greatest gift and most important teaching responsibility–after knowing everything is going to be well with them. The evidence of what children are subjected to against any will is justification enough for foregoing births until a world is just and right. The popularization of forcing impoverished or unprepared babies to term in these conditions borders on clinical.

A girl started hooking up with a friend of mine. Within months, she wanted to move in with him. I warned him, “be careful of the old ‘surprise, we’re pregnant!'” She gave birth the following year. He called me and told me she had an affair. “You can take a girl out of the trailer, but you can’t take the trailer out of the girl,” he quipped to me. I felt sorry for his trouble and the conversation ended. They were married the next month. I didn’t ask, but it was clear he was only calling to get me to go out of bounds. When she contacted me, I anticipated the same.

One date was two hours late to a meeting at a bar, so I played pool and got drunk. When she finally showed, I was on my way out of the bar and brushed her aside. “You don’t have to be mean,” she defended.

I kissed a girl hoping to be invited up to her hotel for a massage, then quickly broke it off when I thought about hurting another person I wouldn’t marry.

I tried to put moves someone but when I got close and kissed her; she didn’t react, so I left.

Nude photos of a girl were being displayed at a party. I had a media card on me and asked if I could copy the photos. After allowing it, she had second thoughts but I didn’t delete them. The same thing happened to me, a girl took my nude photo, and I felt afraid they would go viral and raced over to delete it from her camera and computer. I was looking for pornography, and found an app of Asian girls. The photos were lingerie, but the women looked too young to be exposed, certainly not by a thirty year old. I eventually found porn on the internet with no app. It’s a catch-22. 18 year olds have the right to be seen as women, but there’s this huge statatory taboo, mostly among growing teenage girls, who want to be desired; and among adult men who want to recognize the beauty of a girl whose actually interested.

Longevity in relationships is a positive acquisition; but I figured out how to make it superficial. I dumped one girl cause she didn’t like me watching porn. I dropped another for not being athletic enough. I would go on to be on the receiving end of a break-up, and learned that rejection from loved ones is one of the hardest events in life with which to come to terms. Loss is something everybody should understand and be ready for, if not actually suffer through, in order to once learn not to take things or people for granted; and I dished out more than my share of it to many good and caring and attentive people.

There was this time when I engaged in flirting communication, and was happy with our banter. But when we would meet, I couldn’t help but notice that her eyes were crossed. I used her knowing that we would not last due to my superficiality. Another girl had a huge mole, and all I could think was that we could get it removed and then she would be much hotter to date. I tried not to notice it when we talked, but it was unmistakeable.

While Justin had his eyes open during meditation, his eyes and body would be moved around the wall in a determined pattern to tell a story; yet another time his eyes were drawn unwillingly to things he had no desire to witness. Not all the aliens were bad–or maybe they get a bad rap for carrying out real justice for him over-staring at people he had a strong sexual urge to observe; it’s just that those punishers were given precedence regarding Justin. The stark difference in effect spawned from the same technical capability, which is so beautiful it would be injustice to forbid.

The rules have not been set, but according to people I’ve never met: You have the right to regret; that’s the only one you’ll get. I ain’t gonna rely on a bet, that we won’t be slavery’s pet–being sold free market, for the price of a mullet–a drop in the bucket. You can try and get upset, burn like a comet, draw up a picket, fret about the threat. But there’s no secret; there’s nowhere which to jet. You’re on the docket. -The case to not forget, your private: Lifestyles protect.


“my apologies for insincerity and ignorance.”



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